Tag Archive | inspiration

It’s a Kind of Magic…

…LIFE, when it surprises you in unexpected positive ways. I started my unbirthday project last week. I carefully framed each of my photos that I had snapped at a sunflower festival. I wrapped each creation in tissue paper than I arranged them into waiting gift bags. As I made my way around handing out my gifts to the people I had selected, my heartbeat was catching in my throat. I was nervous with gleeful anticipation and dare I say a little apprehension.

The look in someone’s eye when the surprise is for them. The questioning look that asks,”what have I done to deserve this?” their happiness unfolds as their grin expands; that is what you have done, given back what I desire most, a smile. Not much really but everything that is grand about people. We have become a nation of anger. It breaks my heart in ways too numerous to tell here. Where have all the “good” people gone? the ones who put out a hand not to press you down but to steady you as you find your way? When did it become common place not to look people in the eye, exchange a quick good morning, or good afternoon and flash a warm smile their way. WHEN?

I usually post Friday nights but this week I just wasn’t feeling it. I wrenched my back earlier in the week. I spent three excruiating days not being able to do much of anything but cry in discomfort. I am happy to report that the spasming has slowed to a dull roar which has allowed me to be able to sit here long enough to enlighten you on how my unbirthday project has been progressing. I have a few more peeps to surprise, then I am done until the dead of Winter when happiness is in short supply. Love the people in your life while they are here to enjoy you.

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My UnBirthday Project

As I have told you before, I am not a big fan of my birthday. Like the witch that she is, my day, lived up to all of my low expectations (I never set the bar too high). Being the bigger personality, I have called a truce with myself over my losses. I have started an UnBirthday Project. I am now trying to make or buy small gifts to randomly hand out to people I enjoy. So we can share a genuine moment with no strings attached.  I want to spread some good vibes around. A little something nice in a not so friendly world. Nice matters. Because there are not enough people in the world who smile freely or share of themselves like they won’t get hurt. If you build your walls too high only the thorns thrive, just ask Sleeping Beauty ; )

A few weeks ago I dropped my first gift. Tomorrow is another chance to gift someone some beauty. Never Give Up On The Person You Are Meant To BE

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Who knows YOU could be next!

The Unbirthday

It’s a marvelous concept, find happiness in the 364 other days of the year that are not about you and celebrate your UNBIRTHDAY. My real birthday is hiding just around the corner and I hate her. My birthday always disappoints me. I won’t let myself be happy on that day. I have a tendency to become withdrawn and melancholy because I set the bar of expectations way too high. I decided that this year I was going to use this time of Unbirthday  to celebrate the people in my life and for once give presents instead of feeling sorry for myself because there is no one (except hubby, of course) to have a party with.

You know what? I am happy. I am looking forward to being on vacation and just living in the moment. Sure I have less family but I have discovered I have more people in my life that I enjoy and that I talk with and laugh with than I have ever had before. I am blessed.  Reap what you sow. Send kindness and joy out into the world and see what rewards you truly gather.

UNBIRTHDAY

SATURDAYS

Saturday

Sixth day in the week. BEST DAY 

My Pops suffered with dementia. When I first started looking after him he would often ask me, “Is today Saturday?”  At first I thought it was a little odd and I would correct him. As the frequency of his questioning increased it bothered me. It was so tough on me emotionally to see my beloved dad struggle with time. My hubby helped me put it into prospective one day. “It was probably the only day your Dad had for himself.”

My Dad sometimes worked two jobs. He crawled out of bed shortly after 4 am each day and left the house every morning before 5 am to go to work.  Saturday was quite possibly the ONLY day my Pops ever had off. It was his favorite day. A day he got to spend watching TV, running errands, being with his girls, relaxing. It was his BEST DAY every week.

I have made Saturday my favorite day of the week. I try to be upbeat and positive and cram as much life into every Saturday I am blessed to have. I am everything wonderful because of his love.
This will be my first Father’s Day without him by my side. I miss him terribly.

 


He is in my thoughts everyday. Happy Father’s Day, Dad! You know I love you, right?

Tantrum VS Truth

Welcome to this heavy weight battle for the championship of self-esteem. In this corner sporting cute Batman shorty pajamas and a new attitude: Truth.  Tough to beat, harder to fight… And in this corner Tantrum wearing an ice cream stained t-shirt and a pair of cutoffs. Her style is messy and unpredictable. Winner, winner chicken dinner? Again!?! with the groceries? Really?

This is proving to be an epic battle of the wills. Will I make healthy choices? Will I eat an entire container of Nutella? Will I keep going to WWs? If you are to buy into the WW weigh(pun)of life they try to make you believe that you can eat anything as long as you figure out the points. *TRUTH ALERT* yeah, not really. Right now I am eating cheese ravioli with cheese sauce, ground beef and hot sausage, because I LIKE IT. Following WWs I can have THIS but in order to fit it into program I should only smell {{{sniff, sniff}}} this and eat something else. Not going to happen. I know there will be no weight loss this week for me. (TANTRUM)

I was fighting the good fight. I was losing weight. I was working hard; and then just like that [snap of my fingers] I stopped. I want to set a goal for myself. I know I need to stop fecking’ around and find my exercise path. I need to re-examine my whys. [TRUTH]

I have allowed myself to fall back into the comfort of being disorganized, unprepared, worn out and worn down. I have been lying to myself that it is okay to overeat all of the tasty foods I can no longer have. All this time and I still fall for all of my old tricks. (TANTRUM)

I know I feel so much more alert and healthy when I make good choices. I am able to do so much more with my day when I am actively taking part in my health. I am a happier person. I enjoy being around the people in my life. I enjoy Feeling Good[TRUTH]

Why do I keep fighting with myself over my same disappointments? (TANTRUM)

What do I really want? I want to walk away from all the crap I have layered across my path. I want to embrace the peace I know I have in my life. I need to trust myself. I know what I am doing; I know what I need to do to be successful. I can do this.[TRUTH]

Bored, deprived, hungry, angry, disappointment…all excuses(TANTRUM)

No one is going to make me do this. I have to figure this it out on my own.
Never Give Up On The Person YOU Are Meant To Be. I’m not [TRUTH] = )

The Ripple

If you are very fortunate in life there are people who “get” you. My personal list happens to be on the short side. My life’s path has been blessed by many people, and yes, some of you have been really lovely but let’s be honest most of you don’t  “get” me. The pool of people in my life (people that I hold near and dear to my heart and soul) is rather small. I have never been quite sure if  I can attribute that to my unwillingness to meet new people or to the fact that most people are too judgmental and hurtful. Recently this pool of mine has lost some members. There was no lapse in coverage or a failure to renew. Their life cycles just stopped spinning.

Now, even though it is not true, I feel like I am spinning all alone. My cousin Mike was a kind, unique human being; and just like a flash of lightning he is gone.  Once again I find myself in the place of regrets, with thoughts unspoken and deeds undone. How did our lives end up on opposite shores? How do I tell you how much you have always meant to me? I can’t.  I can only hold onto my belief that somehow you know how golden we once were, before life and dreams of adulthood separated our paths. You will always live in my heart where I hold onto all the wonderful things from my life. You always made me laugh. You always listened when I was certain no one heard.  You were more than a ripple in the wave of my life. I owe you more than I can ever pay forward. You were one of the reasons I learned to fly. I hope you know that you are loved. I will forever miss you. Rock the Heavens. Lord knows they could use better music.

A ripple seems like a small thing until you realize how big its impact is. Be the ripple in the waves of someone’s life. wave

 

The Pause That Refreshes

like a tall glass of ice cold lavender lemonade on a scorching hot day. I think about my Saturday WWs meeting this way; a pause in an otherwise busy life. Once a week I weigh in, find my motivation and strength to face another challenge. Let’s face it life is hectic. Mine is filled with work, hobbies, hubby and various and sundry things I neither enjoy or want to participate in; but, adulting is about doing what’s right. Well, it is if you are trying to be a good adult = )

I have learned that my adventure in adulting is a whole lot easier when I am willing, when I am patient(toughest thing), when I ask questions and when I am honest with myself when I need help. I took a leap of faith in myself last February and walked back into a WWs meeting. I have been trying to go faithfully every week and I am proud to say I have missed only 3 or 4 meetings in over a year! There is more to my success though than meets the eye. I feel like it is time for me to sing the praises of the people I have met at my meeting. Here’s to the women who make my meeting fun, informative, inspirational, motivating, and well worth my time. I have come to know that I can lean on you for moral support when I am feeling low. You never tire of the questions I ask. And let’s face it you offer great advice.

This program would be nothing without your help. Amazing to me that each of you was once on my side of the scale. You overcame the obstacle of SELF. I draw inspiration from you whenever I feel myself sliding. I find myself asking, “What would Kathy do?” or  “I want to write a blog post for Danielle!” I worry if Auntie Phyllis is not at my meeting. She may be the sweetest person I have ever met. Is she Okay? I like that Dixie laughs at my weirdness and sometimes gently reminds me to behave when my mischief needs to be managed.  Everyone’s life story has its own path but for one hour a week in the early part of my Saturday you join me in my quest to a better self. I owe you a level of gratitude I can never repay. I look forward to our time together. You make me feel like I can accomplish whatever I work for.

Thank you for being the wonderful people that you are.