Zero Words

It almost equals the amount of F*@K$ I have to give today. As I sit here I am not feeling any attraction to the word muse. Is it possible I have run out of meaningful things to say? to share? Has my word well run dry? I don’t think so I am just exhausted and aggravated. Have you ever lost a friend? I don’t mean misplace them or leave them somewhere but walked away from, stopped enjoying, did not want them in your space, kind of lost?  I am not sure I ever really considered them as a friend.

I can not meet expectations I know nothing about.WHY AM I SO ANGRY? I’ll tell you why; because they dumped their emotions about my “betrayal” in my lap as if I was the only one participating in the relationship. When shit goes wrong as it sometimes does there is always more than one version of a story. Your version, my version, and, yes, ladies and gentleman, the TRUTH, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the TRUTH.

I am sorry you have anxiety but I am not nor have I ever pretended to be your shrink, or your pacifier or your medication. Own your illness. I own mine, all of them! I make no excuses for myself. I blame NO ONE for how I am. I try everyday to be a better version of myself. Funny how you seem to piss through friends and yet it is NEVER your fault. TOE PICK! Check yourself. I was wrong. I knew better. I refused to see the warning signs of the impending storm. Like a cornered cat you took your chance and lashed out at me. I am sorry I let you down. I will not wait for your apology because as usual you didn’t do anything wrong and one will not be forthcoming. Have a nice life. I will add you to my short list of DO NOT DISTURB, too disturbed ! this one is already too far gone.

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